A Life Built on A Lie
Brokenness.
A devastating lie of the times.
A fundamental lie that one is broken and in need of fixing, can consume a lifetime. A lifetime spent engaging nearly every moment from a place of needing to add/change something about the perception of oneself.
A lie that continues to say, “I’m still not there, yet. A little further, and I will finally be okay”
A lie that masks itself behind virtues, that on the surface, hold spiritual and social appeal. Often operating out of sight, when joined with that which is validated, encouraged, and affirmed.
A lie that shows itself as an ever present vigilance. Always seeking and scanning for some notion of a problem. In every context of one’s life. A vigilance that creates a near constant source of tension moment to moment, noticed or not.
A lie that says, I need to have, be, or do ______… attempting to hold back the anguish of unmet expectations. Expectations that have become associated with ‘this will fix me’. “This will make me finally enough”; “I can finally rest”
A lie that is quick to forgive and offer compassion to another, yet constantly see one’s own fault, no matter the circumstance. Unable to offer the same grace and compassion as freely.
A lie built upon perceptions of life being a struggle, and the only possible experience for one’s own sense of self.
A lie that creates a seeming never ending urge to push, strive, and seek more, more and more… Until the body, relationships, or key structures of one’s life begin to break-down, left to face the mirror.
A lie that, even though those closest to you may acknowledge what they love and appreciate about you — the core thread of the lie, and it’s surrounding beliefs and emotions, remain intact, and largely untouched.
A lie that can consume a lifetime of finances, friendships, time, and health.
A lie that can prevent a lifetime of friendships, time, health, finances, and overall sense of a life well lived.
It is a gift to look in the mirror, and feel a fundamental sense of okay-ness.
It is another gift to look in the mirror and see that which had been informing one’s life was based on a lie.
And then open the door for what comes next.
Be well,
Matthew
