Challenge the norm. Be “too much”

Matt Hogan
2 min readMay 23, 2024


Somewhere along the way, you have probably been told by others (and yourself), “I am being too much”.

I better dial it down

I don’t want to rock the boat

As the years go by, you see an older and older version of yourself in the mirror, and the starving feeling is evident. Starving to finally say (and live), enough is enough. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

No doubt being too much for an environment can lead to being fired, losing clients, being dismissed and criticized, collapsing relationships, and more.

From one perspective, this may sound unacceptable. Terrible. Do everything necessary to avoid this. I need safety. I need certainty. I need to be kind. I need to get through to my later years, then I can begin to do the things important to me.

From another perspective, this may sound like being freed from a cage. A cage that has kept you in denial of something more. A cage built on foundations of doubt, guilt, and shame.

You may wonder what that more is.

To be clear, no one’s story is completely the same. Though you may hear similarities, the more that exists on the other side of being too much is there for you to discover.

As you stand in the mirror and say aloud to yourself, enough is enough. It’s time. Here are a few notes to take with you into your day.

  1. Just because something is the norm or the expected doesn’t mean the quality of it is worth a sh**.
  2. There’s a major difference between fully embodying your heart, soul, and unique self in the world and living with a blatant disregard for others. Remind yourself of this. Seek where truth exists in this assertion.
  3. Ignorance is inherently a part of being alive. This comes with the territory of being human. The sooner we can accept this, the better. We make mistakes. We may hide when we feel scared to stand out. We may say something taken out of context as we attempt to be fully alive. It’s part of the territory.
  4. Somewhere along the way we deeply accept that you cannot be the parent of another adult’s feelings. Consistently shapeshifting yourself to make others feel okay, at your own expense. (Feeling an internal conflict with this one? Revisit #2 above for guidance)

If it’s time to discover more, rock the boat and try out being too much.

Every great change comes with rocking the boat.

Thank you for reading.

Be well,




Matt Hogan

Coaching Leaders & Executives to Find Purpose, Clarity, and Alignment. | World Traveler | Soul Seeker | I help you through the hard sh*t.