Is the cast of ‘Friends’ your source of guidance?

Matt Hogan
4 min readJan 14, 2022


One of my gifts is supporting people to connect with their internal guiding systems. The inner guidance that steers our lives. The voices and nudges that say:

1) This way

2) Choose that

3) I need this

4) I must do that

5) I was justified here

6) I am limited there

7) All is well

And the emotions that lead to….

1) Reaction or response

2) Resentment or closeness

3) Anger or understanding

4) Despair or joy

Within this growing connection, we focus on creating a life of service, ease, and balance. This begins by creating clarity about what sources are vying for our attention. And, our default paths from there.

Often we have countless voices vying for our attention, trust, and energy. It can be hard to know what to listen to at any given moment, let alone how to balance it.

There are our internal guiding systems, as mentioned. Then there are the voices in the media, our families, spouses, friends and beyond. Each of these voices in the world around us have their place and importance. Each has a point where the benefit of listening becomes detrimental to our lives.

Recently, one of my clients uncovered that he had the cast of the 90’s show Friends playing in his head. For the sake of story, his name is Michael.

As we dove into the conversation, he could hear the entire cast speaking.

Monica, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel.

The entire crew. Each showing up in varying degrees. Each offering different beliefs, wants, demands, fears, complaints, and goals.

The crew even offered…

  • Different ideas about how life should be
  • Different ideas on what is safe vs not
  • Different ideas about what is most important
  • And much more

…Because each had a persona of their own.

One cast member was more future oriented than the rest. All about productivity and advancement.

Another was about hedging and holding back to remain safe. Another was more carefree and could find enjoyment in the moment.

Michael paused for a laugh when acknowledging that he had the likes of a 90’s sitcom crew running his life. Before this conversation he was not aware of it. What he wants is to experience more ease in his life and business. He knows his intentions.

What he values is clear.

Yet, we had to find the source of what kept life feeling like he was pushing, forcing, and never satisfied. At this point you may find yourself seeing how there is a mirror here for you. Or, you may think that my client is different.

He is not. Each of us is being steered by an internal guiding system. What we call it, how we relate to and respond to its messages, or even hear it, differs.

For years, there was a 7 and 13 year old version of me that was impacting my life in my 30’s. These personas would come out of left field and surprise me. Mostly because I didn’t know that they existed.

In moments of stress or high stakes, the 7-year old was afraid to speak up for fear of being criticized and punished. Or, the 13 year old would be ready to fight and defend what I am owed, deserve, or is already mine.

It took me receiving the same support to see what was playing out for me, and how it determined the quality of my life.

I’ve since connected to other aspects of my inner guidance, supporting a cohesive relationship that feels balanced and clear.

This has been useful for me to move past struggling with indecision, and being able to experience more ease and contentment. In this process I have also discovered what is true for me versus not. Where to listen and when.

As you consider what is being shared here — what stands out to you?


  • What are the differing guiding voices / nudges within you?
  • What do you notice about each one?
  • And how do they currently steer the life you are creating?

As we cultivate this connection with ourselves, we are being offered an opening to experience new levels of freedom. We are open to trusting our own voice and direction, while experiencing greater calm and enjoyment.

As you connect to and bring discernment to your own guiding systems — I’m happy to support you in the process.

Reach me at and tell me more about what is going on for you.

Be well,


More about Matt Hogan…

I’m a friend, a coach, a consciousness explorer, a traveler, a breath-work facilitator, and an active participant on a journey of Self mastery.

By day, I support leaders, entrepreneurs, and executives of socially-minded organizations. I am helping them to accelerate their own internal change work so they can have an even greater impact through their roles, presence, and within their lives.

Through coaching, facilitating, teaching and other modalities, I create a space for you to design and live into the next level of yourself, while you tackle and make possible your next impossible.

If you’d like to learn more of my journey or about my services, connect with me through my website at

And follow me on Medium for weekly publications.



Matt Hogan

Coaching Leaders & Executives to Find Purpose, Clarity, and Alignment. | World Traveler | Soul Seeker | I help you through the hard sh*t.