Knowing what is NOT true matters

Matt Hogan
2 min readJun 13, 2024


When changing and growing at the level of identity, values, and overall relationship with self and life, there’s a familiarity with ‘how things are’, that changes.

When seeking peace, alignment, direction, clarity, relationships, and most anything in life, one aspect of the trip is clarifying what path you perceive yourself to be on.

This may take the shape of seeking to be kinder towards yourself and others. You may desire to build towards a more sustainable future.

You may want to stop being your worst critic.

Even if the specific path is unclear, you know it’s time for change.

Knowing what the trip is, is one part of the equation. Another aspect is discerning what the trip is not. This is another essential aspect of becoming an evolved version of you.

It may be challenging to name the path you are on. That’s common.

When old strategies for navigating your life no longer make sense, new ones are required.

When old narratives about who you are or are not begin to shake, crack, and fall away, you can’t escape the process.

This requires time, courage, willingness, and patience.

This part of the process can surface existential questions, emotions, and at times, an overwhelming sense of going ‘crazy’.

What used to make sense no longer does.

What is coming next isn’t clear.

What matters most isn’t fully formed.

Where to point your energy and attention is challenging.

The following inquiry may be useful.

  1. At the top of a paper write down the path/transition you experience yourself to be on (IE: “Path to a better life”) — This does not need to be perfectProceed to step #2 even if you cannot name this
  2. Draw out four squares with space to write a few bullet points in them
  3. Label the first square as “The life path I was on” — list out a few bullets of what was guiding and informing your life up to this point,
  4. Label the second square as “The top questions I have right now” — list all the unanswered questions crossing your mind. Then, narrow it to the top 4 that seem to hold the most weight (You may need an extra sheet of paper for this),
  5. Label the Third square as “What is no longer true” — use this space to clarify all that your life is no longer about (IE: striving in a way that harms my body; Using anger as a means to find my way through the world),
  6. Label the Fourth square as “One situation” — use this space to ask how the above clarity can help you with a conversation, decision, or situation relevant today. Start smaller before moving to larger focal points, such as changing/leaving a job, marriage, or health decision.

Thank you for reading.

Reach out with questions.

Be well,




Matt Hogan

Coaching Leaders & Executives to Find Purpose, Clarity, and Alignment. | World Traveler | Soul Seeker | I help you through the hard sh*t.