The Power of Asking the Right Question

โ€œ๐‘Šโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘ข ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘›๐‘˜ ๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘ข ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘› ๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ ๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘ข ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘›๐‘˜ ๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘ข ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘›โ€™๐‘ก, ๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘ข ๐‘‘๐‘œ๐‘›โ€™๐‘ก ๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘ก๐‘ข๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘™๐‘ฆ ๐‘˜๐‘›๐‘œ๐‘ค. ๐‘†๐‘œ ๐‘คโ„Ž๐‘ฆ ๐‘™๐‘–๐‘š๐‘–๐‘ก ๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘Ÿ๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘™๐‘“ ๐‘๐‘ฆ ๐‘”๐‘ข๐‘’๐‘ ๐‘ ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘”?โ€

- Michael Neill

_______________________

You know, itโ€™s amazing to me how I use to live and breath the words, โ€œ๐‘ฐ ๐’„๐’‚๐’โ€™๐’•โ€

๐ˆ ๐œ๐š๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐š ๐›๐ž๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ

๐ˆ ๐œ๐š๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ฆ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ง๐๐ฌ

๐ˆ ๐œ๐š๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ฆ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง๐ž๐ฒ

๐ˆ ๐œ๐š๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ญ๐ซ๐š๐ฏ๐ž๐ฅ ๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ง๐จ๐ฐ

๐ˆ ๐œ๐š๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฅ๐ž๐š๐ซ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐š๐ง๐œ๐ž

๐ˆ ๐œ๐š๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ฆ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐ž

Honestly, this list could go on for so long that at some point you would stop readingโ€ฆ

Or say, โ€œ๐‘Š๐‘’ ๐‘”๐‘’๐‘ก ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘๐‘™๐‘œ๐‘œ๐‘‘๐‘ฆ ๐‘๐‘œ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘ก. ๐‘Œ๐‘œ๐‘ข ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘›โ€™๐‘ก ๐‘‘๐‘œ ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘ฆ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘›๐‘”โ€

I laughed a bit as I unintentionally said that with an accent in my head.

As I write this, I find myself on a 13 hour bus ride to Pula, Croatia.

So thereโ€™s time for my mind to wander, to contemplate, and tell myself jokes that only I would laugh at.

And more importantly than anything, I have the full five back seats to myself, so itโ€™s like I have my own hotel bed.

Score one point for me.

Anyways, back to my world of โ€œcanโ€™tโ€.

I asked myself,

โ€œ๐‘คโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘œ๐‘› ๐‘š๐‘ฆ โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘ก ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘š๐‘–๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐ผ ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘ก ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘’ ๐‘ค๐‘–๐‘กโ„Ž ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘ค๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ๐‘™๐‘‘?โ€

And telling a story of โ€œ๐‘ฐ ๐’„๐’‚๐’โ€™๐’•โ€, came to mind.

And for me, I lived many years of my life using โ€œ๐‘ฐ ๐’„๐’‚๐’โ€™๐’•โ€ as my safety mask.

Itโ€™s how I kept myself โ€œ๐’”๐’‚๐’‡๐’†โ€.

Itโ€™s how I kept myself from risking losing it all.

Even though, โ€œit allโ€, I later found really didnโ€™t mean much when I was living a numb, dull existence.

The peak of my โ€œ๐‘ฐ ๐’„๐’‚๐’โ€™๐’•โ€ lifestyle was In November 2017.

I was still living in Kansas City, MO.

Having just purchased a new place to live, and moved in.

During this peak was when my โ€œ๐‘ฐ ๐’„๐’‚๐’โ€™๐’•โ€ attitude was really causing me a lot of pain.

I was freshly out of my engagement, and was spending a lot of time exploring what I wanted for my life.

I was also exploring how I prevented myself from having it.

Through myโ€ฆ

Beliefs

Thoughts

Actions

After spending two years lost in a relationship where I didnโ€™t know who I was, what I wanted, and trying to create a life around what I thought I was suppose to doโ€ฆ

This second chance at creating a different life for myself was both terrifying and exciting.

And as I became clearer on what it was that I really wanted, my own self sabotage started to become crystal clear.

๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—น ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—น๐—ฑ, ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜ โ€œ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฑ๐—ปโ€™๐˜โ€

๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜† ๐—ฎ ๐—๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฝ, ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜ โ€œ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฑ๐—ปโ€™๐˜โ€

๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—”๐˜‚๐˜€๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป, ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜ โ€œ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฑ๐—ปโ€™๐˜โ€

๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฎ๐˜๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—น, ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜ โ€œ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฑ๐—ปโ€™๐˜โ€

๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ฏ, ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜ โ€œ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฑ๐—ปโ€™๐˜โ€

Telling myselfโ€ฆ

โ€œ๐˜•๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธโ€

โ€œ๐˜”๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข ๐˜บ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ณ โ€” ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆโ€™๐˜ด ๐˜ข ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฌ ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธโ€

โ€œ๐˜๐˜ตโ€™๐˜ด ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆโ€

โ€œ๐˜โ€™๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ต๐˜ณ๐˜บ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฑ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ค๐˜ฆ ๐˜โ€ฆโ€[Insert many future events that are irrelevant]

This time of my life was extremely challenging, emotionally and mentally.

As I looked around me, everything I saw that I had created for my life, didnโ€™t reflect any resemblance of what I wanted it to be long-term.

All of these wants and ideas were challenging the way I saw the world.

Challenging the way I saw myself.

Challenging everything I ever believed to be true.

I felt like my world was crashing down on top of me.

And thatโ€™s becauseโ€ฆ

I had created a โ€œ๐’”๐’‚๐’‡๐’†โ€ life.

Full of 100% predictability

0% excitement

And aโ€ฆ โ€œ๐ผโ€™๐‘š ๐‘—๐‘ข๐‘ ๐‘ก ๐‘ค๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ๐‘˜๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘“๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ ๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘š๐‘’๐‘›๐‘กโ€ ๐‘Ž๐‘ก๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘ก๐‘ข๐‘‘๐‘’..

Itโ€™s important to note, if thatโ€™s the way you want to live, thatโ€™s your right.

Itโ€™s just not for me.

I want adventure

I want freedom

I want to explore my endless curiosity

And most of all..

I want to look back on my life and be able to answer the question,

โ€œ๐‘‘๐‘–๐‘‘ ๐ผ ๐‘š๐‘Ž๐‘˜๐‘’ ๐‘Ž ๐‘‘๐‘–๐‘“๐‘“๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘›๐‘๐‘’ ๐‘–๐‘› ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘ค๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ๐‘™๐‘‘ ๐‘คโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘™๐‘’ ๐ผ ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘  โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘’?โ€

๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ธ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—œ ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜†๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—บ๐—ฒ?

It was the realization that all my fear aboutโ€ฆ

The unknown

Potential failure

And other, โ€œrisksโ€

Kept me using โ€œ๐‘ฐ ๐’„๐’‚๐’โ€™๐’•โ€ to stop me from doing anything new, exciting, and what I really wanted.

There was no room for creative thought in this place.

NONE AT ALL.

What changed for me was when I realized and learned that saying, โ€œ๐‘ฐ ๐’„๐’‚๐’โ€™๐’•โ€, really is saying, โ€œ๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ปโ€™๐˜โ€

๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ โ€” ๐—”๐˜€๐—ธ ๐—บ๐˜†๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ โ€œ๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—œ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—”๐˜‚๐˜€๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป, ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ฏ, ๐—ฒ๐˜๐—ฐโ€

๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ โ€” ๐—•๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜€๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—บ ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—น๐—น ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐˜๐˜‚๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜

๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ โ€” ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜† ๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ฟ๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐—บ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—œ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—บ๐˜†๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐—ถ๐—ป

And because of this, I most certainly wonโ€™t have/create/do any of the things I mentioned that I really wanted.

My first โ€œ๐‘ ๐‘š๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘˜ ๐‘–๐‘› ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘“๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘’ ๐‘œ๐‘“ ๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘–๐‘ก๐‘ฆโ€ for this is when all my frustration kind of peaked during that winter in 2017, because I wanted all of these things, but was not getting any closer to them.

๐—œ๐—ป ๐˜€๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐˜, ๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ผ๐—ณ๐—ณ ๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—บ๐˜†๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ.

I had overcame some crazy odds in my life.

And then I got comfortable.

I became stagnant

I started living the life I thought I was suppose to..

I became ever more attached to what everyone else thought of me, and let that guide my life.

And soโ€ฆ I did nothing to rock the boat.

And you know what, I hated it.

I recognize this as a peak in my life, because what occurred in the following 12 months were nothing short of a rapid expression of me starting to live differently.

Living by โ€œ๐—›๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—œ ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ปโ€ vs โ€œ๐‘ฐ ๐’„๐’‚๐’โ€™๐’•โ€

During this time, I started to become more of me than I had ever been in my life.

Over the course of the next 12 months

Iโ€ฆ

Moved to Austin

Joined the coaching school I wanted

Bought my Jeep

Backpacked the Philippines

Started building my practice

Left my job

And.. Made the decision and plans to start traveling around the world long-term

๐—”๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น ๐˜€๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ณ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐˜„๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐˜€โ€ฆ

#1 ๐ผ ๐‘๐‘’๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘š๐‘’ ๐‘’๐‘ฅ๐‘ก๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘š๐‘’๐‘™๐‘ฆ ๐‘๐‘™๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ ๐‘œ๐‘› ๐‘คโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐ผ ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘‘, ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘คโ„Ž๐‘ฆ ๐ผ ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘‘ ๐‘–๐‘ก

#2 ๐ผ ๐‘ ๐‘ก๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘‘ ๐‘Ž๐‘ ๐‘˜๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” โ€œโ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘ค ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘› ๐ผ ๐‘š๐‘Ž๐‘˜๐‘’ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘  โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘๐‘’๐‘›โ€ ๐‘ฃ๐‘  ๐‘ ๐‘Ž๐‘ฆ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” โ€œ๐ผ ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘›โ€™๐‘ก ๐‘‘๐‘œ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘กโ€

Short of saying things like, โ€œI canโ€™t make myself taller, or change my appearanceโ€

Most โ€œ๐‘ฐ ๐’„๐’‚๐’โ€™๐’•โ€ statements

Come from fear and really saying, โ€œ๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ปโ€™๐˜โ€

And it makes sense, seriously.

Our fears are very real to us.

The stories in our mind feel very real.

BUTโ€ฆ

Itโ€™s important to know thatโ€ฆ

#๐Ÿญ ๐—–๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€, ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—บ

#๐Ÿฎ ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜ ๐˜๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฌ ๐˜†๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ผ. ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜ ๐˜๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐˜†

#๐Ÿฏ ๐—ฅ๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜†๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ถ๐—ณ ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ด๐—ผ ๐—ฎ๐—ณ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜

_________________________________________

If you are open to it, I invite you to ask yourself two questions

#1 Where are you currently saying, โ€œI wonโ€™tโ€ to something you really want?

#2 Are you ready to live a created life vs a reactive one?

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Matt believes that for entrepreneurs and leaders to truly use business as a force for good in the world while creating profit, it starts with them.

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Matt Hogan

Matt Hogan

Matt believes that for entrepreneurs and leaders to truly use business as a force for good in the world while creating profit, it starts with them.

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