FearThe Secret to Living…

Matt Hogan
4 min readJun 24, 2019

You know, as I sat down to write this story, I found myself asking…

What do I want to say?
What do I have to share?
What is the value of sharing it?

For those that read my stories, you will notice a pattern of some from my past, along with some of the present.

𝑆𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒

𝑆𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒

𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑎 ℎ𝑢𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑣𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒.

And even as I write this now, I didn’t plan it.

The words flowing from a place other than mind.

My fingertips have a mind of their own, perhaps.

For some time now I have pondered on sharing what I have learned after four months of travel.

For some time now I have wondered if I have more past stories to share.

As it seems my writing may be evolving a bit as I continue to do so.

I have realized over the past few months the joy I get from sharing stories.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆 𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿’𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝗹 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿

And actually, this last line makes me think of a recent conversation with a friend.

A conversation about individualism vs collectivism.

And how each in their own extremes can cause suffering.

Whether that is…

Self suffering because we are so focused on everyone that we forget ourselves.

Spending every waking moment tending to the needs of the people around us.

Spending all our precious time and energy to please everyone else.

While we, as an individual, suffer.

Our wants, needs, aspirations go unheard.

Unseen.

And all too often, forgotten.

At least until something finally breaks down.

Be it our physical health
Be it our mental health

Or, we wake up one day and say, “𝐼’𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑖𝑡”.

Suffering as an individual for the collective proves to be a limited view on life.

No different than the limited view on life that comes with spending every moment focused on me, myself, and I.

And I’ve lived both.

At a young age, tending to the people in my environment as a means to…

Fit in
Belong
Survive

Led to years of not knowing who the hell I was or what I wanted.

Later in life getting to a place where I only cared for myself.

Concerned about what I want.
Concerned about my goals.

And often, negating anyone and everyone along the way as I pushed my way to “success”.

Leading a life of getting and getting proved to be

Isolating
Unfulfilling
And not I thought it was.

I felt as alone only focusing on myself as I did when I only focused on everyone else.

Which leads me to one of the major lessons I have experienced during my time traveling.

There are many lessons and learnings from my trip…

But the main one is..

A powerful and fulfilling way to live is to…

𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

For me that means to..

#𝟏 𝐏𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐮𝐞 my goals while supporting the goals of others

#𝟮 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲 that having fears, aspirations, love, goals, are universal

#𝟯 𝗗𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲 time for taking care of myself and time for helping others

#𝟒 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐩 people with challenges you once faced and overcame

#𝟱 𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲 your time, energy, attention, money to both yourself and others

So I find it funny, a bit interesting that I sat down with no agenda other than to write something I wanted to share..

And the above is what came from my fingertips.

It makes sense, though, as I have been processing my experiences..

Allowing me to filter down everything to simple truths I can understand and live.

I share my learnings above because 𝗜 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘀𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲, 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀.

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴
𝗖𝗵𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 “𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆”
𝗖𝗵𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳

It has been in the past few months that I have realized….

𝐹𝑢𝑙𝑓𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡
𝐽𝑜𝑦
𝐻𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠

And what I want in this life comes from who I am being..

And the opinions I have of myself in relation to it.

By being the person I described above, it has been interesting to see how little I experience..

𝑆𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠
𝐹𝑟𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛
𝑂𝑟, 𝑠𝑎𝑑𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠

Tony Robbins has a firm belief that..

“𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔.”

And I agree with him, with the added context of.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳.

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Matt Hogan

Coaching Leaders & Executives to Find Purpose, Clarity, and Alignment. | World Traveler | Soul Seeker | I help you through the hard sh*t.