The Story of You
Yesterday I spoke with a man about the potential of me supporting and partnering with him. He’s in the midst of a catalytic turning point in his life.
For the first time in his life…
He is single,
Physically cut off from community and codependent bonds,
And has no assurances of consistent income in front of him.
This man has experienced many challenging moments in his life. The latest being a separation from a woman he spent a lot of time in partnership with.
One of the hardest things he has ever done occurred recently.
He walked away from a dynamic that served neither of them. A painful, yet loud nudge that change needed to happen was loud enough, that he took the brave step away.
His heart reeling from the separation. With nothing or no one to cling onto, the walls of what life ‘meant’ and ‘should be’ came into question.
The pain of loss heavy on his chest. Fear of the future taking hold and spinning his mind.
For this man, sitting across from me, the time has come. The time has come for him to bring to the surface the stories of himself and the world that has brought him to this point.
Those internal narratives that have directed his life to this moment.
It’s time for him to bring a fine toothed comb and magnifying glass as he takes a look at the perceptions he holds.
To take a look at his deepest fears,
To uncover the judgements and blame,
To see the ways with which he misunderstands himself and life.
And he knows this.
And he is ready.
In our conversation we dove straight into the heart of this work together. The ‘work’ being a complete transformation of his story of self and the world around him.
The ‘work’ being to delve deep into the stories that bind him from the business he wants. The relationships he wants.
And above all, the wholeness he wants to feel inside of himself.
He longs for the experience of standing in a feeling of light. He envisions life feeling like there is a sense of play as the creativity flows.
He knows of the possibility to be a man of discipline, authority, and honor that radiates from his actions.
As I looked into this man’s eyes, I knew his time had come. He is all in. He knows that this change won’t be easy. And, he knows it will be worth it.
We skipped the social niceties. And we dove straight through the stories of his mind. Those old stories that are afraid of him being the fullness of who he really is.
What I see in this man is a visionary. A man that can bring forth a vision of possibility beyond what many can do. And, he has the capacity to enable the gifts of others to bring it to life.
He already knows this about himself.
What he doesn’t know is I see a man with a heart of gold that has a power that will be felt across the room.
When I say power, I don’t mean force. There is enough evidence in the world of how force is used as an externalization of imbalances and fear.
No, this man has power.
And it’s in his heart.
His heart for others. His heart for creating something of meaning. When this man’s heart opens all the way, it will be a gift to countless people.
The only thing he has forgotten is how to open his heart to himself.
To deeply question the story of himself that has been believed for decades. And then move beyond it. To see how amazing he is, regardless of anything.
To see the gift he is to the world, and over time, an increasing amount of people around him.
What I have learned in my 18 years of being in this process for my own life, it’s not about adding to you. It’s about letting go of ‘you’.
Yes, we add new skills to our tool belts. New fancy bells and whistles that can provide incremental value.
Yet, our greatest power comes from what we unlearn and let go of that we hold as ‘truth’.
It’s letting go of…
The fearful stories that keep us from building our business,
The resentments keeping us from being with our aging parents
The blame of a world that doesn’t look the way it ‘should’
And, all the above that we turn in and against ourselves. As we let go of this old story of ourselves, we see new light.
We see cracks of possibility that once didn’t appear to exist. The fog has lifted. The speeding of the mind racing out of control, has slowed.
A new way forward emerges.
This man feels the possibility at his doorstep. He can taste it.
I know this, because I don’t have conversations like that with someone by accident. When someone gets to this point in conversation with me, they are ready for substantial change.
My work with clients is not buffing or tweaking their lives. It’s an overhaul that offers a complete reinvention of how they see, feel, and experience life.
They, like this man, are ready to lean all the way into the process of creating a new story of themselves. And then live it.
That’s why when this man sits before me and tells me with certainty he is ready, I don’t doubt him for one second.
He became clear on a powerful truth. No one is coming to save him. No one is going to save me. Or, the vast majority of us.
Not our coaches.
Not our bosses.
Not our family.
Not our governments.
There is undeniable power in numbers of community and family. The most powerful of those understand the importance of self leadership.
Because we are the masters of our own lives. When we are the master of our own lives, we invite others to be the same. When we invite others to be the same, our power multiplies.
This man saw and felt a glimpse of the powerlessness and helplessness of his past. And the stories that have kept him there.
And he said, ‘NO’. No more.
He’s on the journey to reinvent himself. He answered the call that had been knocking for some time.
This man is one of the bravest I’ve met. He doesn’t know it yet. He doesn’t quite see how brave he is. But he will.
He will look back one day and see how this period became a catalyst for all future growth and changes.
He will see how this time focused on reinvention will lead to what speaks to him as a life lived well.
The feeling of being whole.
And, It’s from these internal shifts that more business, satisfaction and money will flow. He doesn’t yet see and feel the fullness of power and possibility that exists in him and for him. But, he sees and feels enough to light a fire within him.
Give it time. He will see the fullness of what exists for and within him.
Will you do the same for yourself?
More about Matt Hogan…
I’m a friend, a coach, a consciousness explorer, a traveler, a breath-work facilitator, and an active participant on a journey of Self mastery.
By day, I support leaders, entrepreneurs, and executives of socially-minded organizations, helping them to accelerate their own internal change work so they can have even greater impact through their roles, presence, and within their lives.
Through coaching, facilitating, teaching and other modalities, I create a space for you to design and live into the next level of yourself, while you tackle and make possible your next impossible.
If you’d like to learn more of my journey or about my services, connect with me through my website at https://www.matthoganworldwide.com/
And follow me on Medium for weekly publications.
PS: To the man which this article is dedicated to, you know who you are.
Keep leaning in,
Feel what needs felt,
Challenge the stories that try to hold you in place,
Play the long game.
Above all, know that you are deserving of your own love and compassion.
And to everyone reading this, be well.