Where does your legacy come from?
Today I spoke with Electra Avellan, a wellness entrepreneur. Born in Venezuela, Electra moved to the United States at a young age. Her family, along with twin sister, spent years in Hollywood starring in films. Many of the films with a long line of A-List actors and actresses. Electra was creating a life for herself full of prosperity, fame and success.
She spent years in the Hollywood game. The competitiveness being comparative to that of professional sports. As the years went on, Electra reached a point where the impact of trying to fit in and be successful was too much. Her time in Hollywood led to major damaging of her mind and body.
Electra’s body weight was at unhealthy levels, and her mind was telling her it is time to break out of this cycle. Though not easy nor quick, she left the Hollywood scene and moved across the country.
After departing, she created time and space for herself to heal her body, to create order in her mind. While not an easy process, nor quick, it was necessary. It proved to strengthen her resolve and resiliency in life.
Electra has many skills from her time in Hollywood. And now has deep personal experience of what can happen when we bring harm to ourselves. This experience birthed a personal transformation that now fuels her focus and finances.
Electra now focuses on bringing an understanding of the body, into her businesses. Through her own challenges, she developed skills and gifts that are now used to serve many others.
As I was born in the US, I slowed down to listen to her experience. I will never know what it is like to move here from another country, and the entirety of experience involved.
As I listened, what I heard was that Electra had an opportunity to create a life for herself in Hollywood. And she did. Then there was a tipping point and it no longer served her life. What was once a promise of prosperity and success, became detrimental to her own survival.
Now she uses her gifts and personal experience to benefit others. Electra is doing what she loves. That love was birthed in challenge. She was brought up in a family that acted, and valued acting. What she was raised in, offered the experience and potential for insight to discover and create anew as she navigates the world.
Dr. John Demartini (expert on values) says, ‘from a young age we are injected with our values of the norm, and what we should pursue in life.’
From these injected values, we chase happiness and fulfillment through external means. We chase the means of our lives for others, rather than from a true source of what we want to express.
Often we have a misunderstanding about what a certain goal actualized means for us. We haven’t dug deep enough into the meaning it holds beyond the surface level answers.
The thread that I have found for myself and clients is we spend years living our lives for values beyond our own. We chase fulfillment through external acquisition of love, fame, and respect. Those alone are not bad. The misunderstanding is believing that will be what allows us to feel whole and complete.
The opportunity lies in being able to create our lives from a place of completeness to begin with. It’s living from a place of wholeness and completeness, within ourselves. That changes everything.
What I am suggesting here is not that we forgo creating financial prosperity, a business, or a life you want.
What I am suggesting is getting clear on why you are doing what you are every day. Every breath. Every word. Every deed.
What is it all for?
Where are you going?
Who you are doing it for?
Most important, how will you view yourself if you do not achieve the thing?
Creating our life from our highest value offers the opportunity to give our gifts to others. As was the case with Electra. Her gifts and highest values were born in both challenge and unique experience.
Electra’s experience shines a light on what I’ve seen as a common thread within my own life, as well as my clients.
The pattern being years spent chasing what others have told us to value, without realizing it. There is a lack of clarity of what we value intrinsically.
Over the course of a journey of jobs, relationships, challenges, loss, and wins, we develop a lot of skills. We develop a network of people. We learn a lot about what we are made of, and more deeply understand who we want to be.
This is a gift. Even if there is hardship.
It’s a misunderstanding that a failed business, relationship or anything is a waste of time. Contrast, nuance, and direct experience creates wisdom that goes beyond the intellect.
I’ve spent years chasing all the things. There is nothing wrong with wanting money. There is nothing wrong with wanting adventure. There is nothing wrong with wanting to impact the lives of others.
It’s in the driving reason and meaning that we find out the generative or detrimental nature of a pursuit.
To have the greatest impact on another’s life, as well as our own — we must ask, why am I doing this? Then ask again. Then again. Then again. Ask it 20 more times until you have nothing left. Because our first few ‘reasons’ are rarely the truth. Our minds are tricky like that.
As example, for the past five years I have been diving into mastering my mind, being more in my body, and reconnecting with my spirit. Through this continued mastery of self, I have connected to how I choose to spend my life. My legacy. While there are tweaks and adjustments along the way, there is a theme to my chosen life’s purpose.
My purpose is to serve those that serve others. My time, energy and resources are devoted to serve those who are helping to move society away from fear, into greater wholeness.
These are the leaders that have a heart for humanity’s well being. They express this through their products and services.
My work is inspired from my highest value of mastering myself, then sharing my gifts in a way that supports another. Thus, a ripple effect.
Yet, why I started this path was a mix of my own values and what I thought I needed or wanted. Wrapped up in my work for a long time was a need to feel significant. To feel respected. To be viewed as this incredible leader. In essence, I started out wanting to be on a pedestal, thinking that would somehow make me happy. I believed that would remove the feelings of inadequacy. It doesn’t. It creates the feeling of isolation and separation.
I’ve oscillated between feeling less than and greater than throughout my life. Regardless of which I was feeling in the moment, the result was always the same. I am left feeling alone and discontent with life. It’s in the connection with my highest value, expression of it, and the clear reasons ‘why’, that my greatest work emerges.
Having read this, what is true for you?
If any part of this provoked a strong response. Good or bad, I encourage you to take a look at it.
What about my words provoked you?
What did it provoke?
What insight might be available to you now?
This is not about criticism or judgement. It’s about insight. One insight, applied, can change the world we live in.